he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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