That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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