You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just saw a hot homeless man
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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