Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
