Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
