so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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