Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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