Screwed.edu
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
