Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
