Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
