just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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