No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
