Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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