Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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