Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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