I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sorry about my life...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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