It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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