If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
