When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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