At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
