Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
