i need an iv and a liver transplant
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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