So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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