So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
