How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
