I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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