My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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