It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
