there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
