just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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