Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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