I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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