you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
