Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
