I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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