i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
