Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
