Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
