I will die if light touches me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
