i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
