we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
