Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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