this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
