don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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