So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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