I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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