At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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