Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
