And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
FUCK WHALES
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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