did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize