is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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