kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
