Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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