do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
