Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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