We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
